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Before having kids, we traveled to nearly 40 countries.

Backpacking trips in Southeast Asia, through India and Nepal, and many countries throughout Europe.

Road trips throughout Europe, too, the U.S., etc.

Years living abroad in South Korea and Mexico.

Needless to say, we had a lot of time on these trips to be with each other, and alone if we wanted to..

But, that was then, and this is now.

And, one thing we can’t do now so well when we travel with our kids is take time for just the two of us. (Solution idea for this coming soon…stay tuned!)

But, what we can do, is take time alone in another city.

And, that’s what birthed (no pun intended) what we like to call “Solo Days”.

A Solo Day is when one parent takes the entire day to themselves while we’re in a new city (this also works at home, too, guys).

We usually go get breakfast together, and then the other one says “BYEEEE!”

(Okay, this is more for the parent that’s going on their “Solo Day”. For the parent that’s staying behind with the kid, it’s more like…)

Whatever rules work for you and your family are important to respect during solo days.

(Not those kind of “rules”…we’re not going to strip clubs on solo days, but if that’s your journey, we’re not judging. You do you. We’re here to support each other.)

But, for us, a few rules are:

Now, while one parent is out having the time of their life, pretending they don’t have a kid back at the Airbnb, the other one is quietly suffering, trying to figure out what to do with said kid for the entire day.

One of the perks of doing solo days in big cities is that there are things to do.

And, these places not only saved the other parent, but are actually part of what motivated us to start the Roammies Database, adding ‘Cool Spots’ (which is really short for “cool-spots-to-take your-kids-to-survive-solo-days”).

If you’re in a city with lots of playgrounds and good weather — or maybe even staying at a place with a backyard like we did in London (thank you, Home Exchange!) — then solo days can be fairly easy.

But, if the weather isn’t great, you need other options. (Our kid literally can’t stay inside.)

One place that really stuck out to us was Anoha in Berlin.

This is the most incredible playground we have ever been. (It’s also one of the reasons we think Berlin is one of the most little-kid-friendly cities we’ve been to.)

Although there can be long wait times, it’s free and you can literally spend the entire day there. They have areas for different ages/capabilities, too, so you don’t need to break your back putting them up and down the slide a million times.

(Do you have other ‘Cool Spots’ that would be good to add? Fill out this form, and we’ll put it in the database!)

So far, our favorite solo days have been in London, Berlin, and Barcelona.

In London, we stayed in a home that had a huge backyard.The ‘on’-parent could stay home while the other one explored the city, from bookstores and bars, to museums and art galleries.

In Berlin, Max went to the Berlinische Galerie, had a beer, and visited some bookstores. Hana spent her day visiting the Jewish Museum (which is connected to Anoha, so that was super easy), East Berlin (and, more bookstores), and the Berlin Wall.

In Barcelona, Max hit up the squares, checked out a cool bar (which he later took us back to for dinner), explored museums, etc. Hana went for a spa afternoon at a hotel, walked the streets of El Born, and ate a whole pizza by herself.

We’ve also done solo trips, which we know isn’t that unusual, but when the kids are really little, it’s hard to leave one parent alone.

When we lived in Portugal, doing solo trips was easier because we had one child, she was in daycare, and Europe is basically the size of New York State (it’s not, but you know what we mean).

If there was an emergency, one of us could just fly back home.

We had planned this out actually a year in advanced — we knew when our daughter would start daycare, she’d be 15 months old. One of us could easily handle the daily routines, take her to school, and call it a day.

We were pretty broke at the time, so we had to improvise. The nice thing about Europe is that the flights are inexpensive, but accommodation (and, everything else) is fairly pricey.

So, Hana went to Budapest for three nights where her cousin was studying abroad. (A bit weird being a literal mom in a student dorm, but YOLO).

Then, when I came back, Max went to Amsterdam for three nights and stayed at a friend of ours, whose apartment was available while she was away. (We paid the utilities to be fair).

Unfortunately, on both of our trips (as they were back-to-back), Mika got sick (like, vomiting all over the place sick), so we were each put through the ringer alone.

But, we survived.

Our rule with one kid?

Three hours away (by flight or car) and three nights (this is flexible) for a child under three years old.

Now that we have two kids, we’re not so sure what solo days will look like. We are going to Buenos Aires in April, so we will see if we’re able to do it.

If not this year, next year for sure.

And, living in Latin America…it’s not so easy (or cheap) to take a three-hour trip somewhere, unless it’s to the beach. And, we’re not huge beach people.

We haven’t tried solo trips with two kids, yet, but Hana will be taking Mika to Florida next month, while Max stays back in Bogotá the baby.

And, it doesn’t have to be solo days, or solo trips. It could be solo hours, solo evenings…

Just some time for one parent to feel they are themselves again.

One tough thing about living abroad without family is you can’t just call up the grandparents to watch the kids for a weekend. And, even if you had friends or people you could trust, your child is still a foreigner in that country. If something were to happen, it’s a bit more logistically complicated.

For instance, when we go back to New York to visit, we can leave Mika with her grandparents and go into the city for the day or so.

That’s not quite how it works when you already live abroad.

Earlier this year, we had to go back to Portugal to get our stuff in storage. Our good friends watched Mika for a week, which was A LOT to ask. (If you’re reading this, we still owe you one!). It was a work trip, but we did enjoy our 24-hour layover in Madrid where we got to spend the whole day at a museum, uninterrupted.

That being said, we have met some families here with kids a bit older who have taken trips without the kids, say, to Peru. They have a trusted support system here, whether it be a nanny or a babysitter or friends that are able to take over, and they have their own “rules” about how long they are away and how far they are going.

Maybe we’ll try that sometime in the future…

These “Solo Days” have allowed us to experience traveling how we used to.

Without kids.

Because, let’s be honest.

While traveling with kids is beautiful, the reality is that it’s just not the same.

Eating out at restaurants aren’t the same. Hell, eating times are not even the same.

There are nap schedules, early wake-ups, (and, early nights…Mika has gone to bed at 6 PM her whole life, so she still gets surprised when she’s out late and sees the moon).

Museums are usually impossible with kids under three. (Mika almost got us kicked out of the Botero Museum a few weeks ago.)

And, so much more.

Have you ever taken “Solo Days'“ while traveling with your kids? Or, while spending time abroad in another location? What are your rules? What does it mean for your family?

Send us an email at [email protected]. We’d love to chat with you and include your story in a newsletter!