Max is full swing into his job right now, and all I can think about is being in Portugal again.
Before you say, “WHAT?”, let me explain.
Portugal wasn’t for us for many reasons. We have absolutely no interest in moving back there.
But lately, we keep thinking about how spontaneous life used to be while we were there.
Yes, it was a little too slow and we weren’t busy enough.
And, maybe it had something to do with living in Europe — the ease of being able to get around. (Although, Portugal really needs to have better trains and buses connecting to the rest of Europe! May as well be an island.)
The thing was, even though we were absolutely broke, we had TIME. And, having this time allowed us to do whatever we wanted on a whim (but, on a super tight budget).
Like, when we first moved there, we flew to Malaga to visit my cousin, and stopped in Paris for a few days on the way. We got to take Mika to our favorite raclette restaurant and check out Shakespeare and Co., then we were on the beaches in southern Spain a few days later.
Or, where took a train down to Aveiro one day from Porto and did a boat tour, and had delicious seafood for lunch.
The time we decided to go to Vigo for Christmas by train.
Or when we went to the Azores for our daughter’s first birthday and stayed in the Cow House because…why not?
The time we booked a last-minute trip to Madrid for her 2nd birthday literally the night before.
Or, when we went to Spain for three weeks, driving from Alicante to Barcelona with a stop in Valencia in between.
We also can’t forget that random drive down to Lisbon where we stayed on a houseboat for one night just because we could. In fact, we rented cars frequently in Portugal whenever we got antsy and would just GO somewhere.
An Airbnb country home in Santarem, Cheleiros, or in the Douro Valley, just because we could. Where we did wine-tasting, and countryside walks and flower-picking, and just plain exploring with nowhere to be. (And, since her daycare was practically free and we HomeExchanged our place, we felt like we were making money by traveling somewhere. Okay, not really, but you get the point).
Honestly, even moving to Colombia was a spontaneous decision, too.
At the time, none of these decisions felt particularly crazy. They just felt like our life.
And now suddenly we’re debating whether we can go to Ecuador this summer because:
“We probably need to work”
Who have we become?!
The funny thing is that a few years ago, this is exactly what we wanted.
More financial stability, more consistency, etc. Still living abroad and traveling and living a different lifestyle, but with a little more…cushion.
And to be fair, there’s a lot I love about this season of our lives, too. Being in Bogota right now where we could grow our family and have time to ourselves (the best vacation at this age is at home!), and a community is a blessing.
But I think what we miss most lately isn’t Portugal itself.
It’s the spontaneity we had there BECAUSE we didn’t have a lot of work.
Even though we were constantly worried about money (and, before you say we should have stopped traveling so much, we did it on a very minimal budget) we had a lot of freedom for all intents and purposes.
Driving to Salamanca for a few days just to get a change of scenery (again, some of this is a European thing).
Now, with both of us working and being a little more settled in Colombia, every hour takes planning. (For now).
And, while we know there are a lot of families in this boat who also live abroad or travel with their kids (that’s why when we do interviews, we always ask about their work setup, as it can be very difficult to work — let alone explore a new place — when you have little ones running around) it still feels like we’re letting go of something. That even though we know a lot of people who would love to be in our situation, it’s still coming at a cost.
Right now, we genuinely can’t tell which version of life is better. I know if the version of us struggling in Portugal would look through a crystal ball to where we are now, they would say, “Wow, you did it. You finally figured it out!”.
But, the version of us now is looking back through that same veil and saying “That was really nice being in Barcelona on a Tuesday.”
Because when life feels too chaotic, all we want is roots. A home base. A house in Ecuador with a garden and all our books and space for the kids to run around that we can travel from whenever.
But, do we want to be back checking my bank account at the end of each day even if it means we can just randomly fly to the beach? Not really.
At least, not right now.
No matter what, though, when life starts becoming too routine, all we can think about is leaving again.
And, in a few years when we’re finally traveling again like that (or, even we’re on our next trip), we’ll likely be craving our couch back at home, waiting for the Ciclovia on Sundays.
What about you?
Would you rather: have the stability…or the spontaneity?
Or…
Would you rather: know exactly what next month looks like…or wake up one morning and decide to fly somewhere randomly the next day.
Of course, most of us want to have both.
And, for those of you who have been able to strike this perfect balance, we’re hoping to be where you’re at one day, which means we’ll have to stick this situation out a little bit longer.
We may honestly never feel 100% like we’re doing totally what we want at any given time. Because, the reality of this lifestyle is that it can change.
When you’re traveling, you miss a sense of home and community. But, when you’ve put down roots for a bit, you just want to get up and go again.
So, the moral of all this? You do need money to do this lifestyle the way you truly want to.
But, you also need time.
And, sometimes, you have to sacrifice one for a little bit in order to have the other.