This week, our daughter turned 4 years old.

It’s crazy to think that four years have gone by so fast.

We’ve lived in three different countries since she was born, and she has already visited 9 countries and dozens of cities and towns around Europe and Latin America.

Personally, I think birthdays are meant to be celebrated. But of course, living this lifestyle, they end up looking a little different each year.

For instance, we always tell Mika this story at bedtime…

The one where we decided to go to Madrid for her 2nd birthday.

“It was raining every day that week, and it showed no signs of stopping. We had wanted to take you to the zoo for your birthday or do some other outdoor activity, but all there was was rain, rain, rain.”

“So we pulled up a weather map to see what nearby cities didn’t have rain in the forecast. Madrid was the closest one. About a 6–8 hour drive from Porto.”

We didn’t have a lot of money, but Max and I agreed that if we could find a HomeExchange, we’d go. Renting a car was relatively reasonable in Portugal, so when we were lucky enough to lock in a last-minute stay, we rented a car.

I think the whole trip probably cost around $350 all-in for the long weekend.

“We dropped you off at school and went to pick up the car. Then we came back to sing Happy Birthday with cake at pickup, threw you in the car, and started our journey to Madrid.”

And honestly, we had a great weekend.

Parks. Slides. Spanish breakfasts. A museum or two (whatever you’re lucky enough to pull off with a two-year-old). A visit to the library. She said “nuts” for the first time. A trip to Five Guys because why not?

Most importantly: sun.

For all intents and purposes, it was an ideal birthday. The type of birthday I imagined we’d have every year living in Europe.

No presents. Just a new place.

This year felt different, though.

Because now Mika has real friendships here in Colombia.

And with that comes birthday culture.

The bounce houses. The themed cakes. The giant play gyms. The face painting. The “whose party are we going to this weekend?” phase of parenting. (Which, we’re actually grateful for because we felt we never had plans when we were living in Portugal. Now, we are busy in a good way).

Last year, we kept it simple — a jungle gym, some decorations, food from PriceSmart (the Colombian version of Costco), done.

This year, we went bigger.

Honestly, probably a lot bigger than we expected to.

Part of it was practical. It was on a Sunday, more people came, we had to rent a space, and having kosher food added to the cost.

But part of it was probably an emotional investment, too.

(I mean, do you see that smile?!)

When you live abroad, there’s always this level of uncertainty in the background.

Will we still be here next year?
Will these be the same friends?
Will this version of our life still exist?

And I think that feeling changes the way you celebrate things.

Two years ago, the perfect birthday was driving 8 hours to chase the sun in Madrid with a toddler who was happy with parks, libraries, and a milkshake from Five Guys.

This year, the joy came from watching her run into a room full of friends she knows by name, and their parents who have become close friends to us. The dancing to the songs she’s learned after being in Colombia this long, us singing Happy Birthday to her in two languages while everyone graciously sang the English version first.

Then, there was the present-opening (we only asked for arts and craft supplies, books or experiences). Because, we have to stay light.

Both birthdays felt meaningful. Just in completely different ways.

Maybe that’s the strange thing about raising little kids abroad: every few years, your definition of a good life — and, a special birthday — changes a little.

At first, freedom feels like the goal. Cheap flights. Last-minute trips. New cities.

Then one day, your kid starts asking which friends are coming to their birthday party.

And suddenly, community matters, too.

It doesn’t matter of these are friends you know for a few years while you are temporarily settled in a place, or the ones you’ve met in hubs, playgrounds abroad, or even online. We are the last people to say that “your kids need friends”. We all know, they’ll make them wherever they are in the world.

But, those friends — and experiences — play a role in who we are raising them to be.

So, maybe next year we’ll travel somewhere for her birthday again. Maybe not. Maybe she’ll want another birthday party, or maybe we’ll convince to take that trip to Belgium we’ve been planning for her 5th birthday since before she was born. (Waffles, chocolate, fries, Legoland? What else could a kid want?)

But this year felt like a reminder that while we built this life around flexibility and following our hearts, our kids are also building a life around the connections they make — wherever and whenever that happens to be.

One day, we won’t only tell her the bedtime story about Madrid. We’ll also tell her the one about celebrating with all her friends from school in Bogotá.

Because part of living this lifestyle is taking advantage of those once-in-a-lifetime moments with your kids at the exact stage of life when you know they’ll enjoy them most.

And this year, that moment was a birthday party.

So now we’re super curious:

What are birthday parties looking like for your family these days?

Do you celebrate just as a family, go somewhere new, or invite the friends your kids have made wherever you are?

If you’re new here, welcome!

And, if it’s been a while, make sure to visit the Roammies Directory of flexible/short-term daycares, cool spots, parks and playgrounds, and other places to take your little ones.

As always, if you’d like to share your story, get in touch with us at [email protected]!